


You're Under My Skin

by flawedamythyst



Category: Marvel
Genre: Emotional Baggage, M/M, Selkies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 11:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawedamythyst/pseuds/flawedamythyst
Summary: Bucky didn't think he'd ever fully recover from Pierce stealing his skin and keeping him captive, but he wasn't banking on Clint's patience and understanding.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 67
Kudos: 334





	You're Under My Skin

The longer Bucky had been without his skin, the less he’d felt anything. By the end, he’d been nothing more than an emotionless robot, doing whatever Pierce ordered him and never once feeling anything more than a vague yearning to return to where salt waves would bear him up.

By the time Steve had tracked him down, got his skin back from where Pierce had locked it away, and got Bucky back to the ocean so he could pull it on and sink back beneath the waves, it felt like it was too late. Even as Bucky darted down below the water, revelling in getting his seal form back, he knew there were things he wasn’t getting back. Feeling more than the muted echo of emotions was one of them.

He stayed with Steve, because the old bond of their loyalty had stayed in place even if Bucky couldn’t remember quite how it had felt to laugh with the guy. Steve had gathered a new pod since Bucky had been gone, and it took a long time for Bucky to feel comfortable around them. He wasn’t sure he’d ever feel like he was part of the pod. Mostly, he just sat on a rock and watched as they played in the sea, or dove down deep to where the water went black whenever having too many people around got to be too much.

Except, when he sat on the rocks he always found his eyes being drawn to the lithe shape of Clint as he barrelled through the water, and when he came up from the deep, he somehow always seemed to be right next to wherever Clint was floating. As time passed, as the sea and the sun wiped away the memories of being Pierce’s captive, Bucky started to feel things again, and most of them seemed to be wrapped up in Clint.

It started small, as the muted echo of contentedness when Clint chose to spread out next to Bucky on the rocks as they all sunbathed and waited for high tide, and progressed to a surge of fond amusement when Clint flicked up through the waves to splash Natasha with his tai. After a few months, he found a well of affection within himself whenever Clint pressed a whiskery nose to Bucky’s face, or brought over a fish for him so he wouldn’t have to move from his spot in the sun.

Steve had started giving Bucky pointed looks whenever that happened, right before he stepped out of his skin and followed Tony up behind the rocks, and that was the problem, right there.

Bucky knew when he was being courted, and maybe it didn’t make sense that anyone would want that with him but Clint was kinda dumb sometimes, maybe he hadn’t realised just what a mess Bucky was. Bucky was just about getting to the state where he thought maybe he could let himself be courted, but the next step was to step out of his skin and spend time with Clint in their human forms, so they could talk, and laugh, and okay, maybe more.

God, he’d love to find out what it was like to kiss Clint.

But he couldn’t bring himself to leave his seal form behind. Not after last time. No matter how careful he was with his skin, he couldn’t shake the fear that someone would grab it as soon as he stepped out of it, and he’d find himself back where he had been with Pierce, held captive and forced to do their bidding.

He couldn’t go through that again. He couldn’t even risk it, even if the option was staying as a seal and basically rejecting Clint’s advances.

One sunny afternoon, when most of the pod had taken off their skins and headed up the beach into the woods, Clint nudged Bucky with his nose, then gestured at the woods in a pointed manner. Bucky swallowed back the rush of want as he imagined taking his skin off and heading up there with Clint, finding a sunlit clearing where they could hang out together, and shook his head as pointedly as possible.

Clint looked disappointed for a moment, but nodded and headed over towards Natasha to step out of his skin.

Bucky shamelessly took in the long, tanned lines of human body, lingering on the thick curves of his muscles and thinking about running his hands over them, feeling the sun-warmed smoothness.

“I’ll stay and watch the skins if you want to go,” said Steve, and Bucky rolled over to look up at him, already in his human shape. “You don’t always have to be the guard.”

Bucky thought about it, about trusting Steve to keep his skin safe, and felt the usual ice-cold shudder of fear at the idea of being out of sight of his skin. He shook his head.

Steve sighed. “Okay, your choice. But, Bucky, any time you want me to, just say the word.”

Bucky nodded, and Steve went off to join the others, all of them running and jumping as they disappeared into the trees, taking joy in stretching their legs.

God, he missed stretching his legs. Too long as a seal made him feel all squashed and curled up.

Clint was the first back, but he didn’t put his skin on immediately. Instead, he sat next to Bucky and looked out at the waves, then let out a sigh.

“I get it, you know,” he said. 

Bucky let out a snort that he hoped expressed his feelings about that.

“Did Steve ever tell you about how I ended up in this pod?” asked Clint, and Bucky shook his head, curious despite himself. 

“I was born on the land,” said Clint, and Bucky gave him the least-impressed look he could manage, because all selkies were born on the land. “No, I was born as a _human_ on the land,” corrected Clint, and Bucky stared in surprise. Selkies always gave birth in their seal shapes, because seal babies were vulnerable but human ones were even more so. Bucky didn’t think he’d ever heard of anyone doing differently.

“My mom had her skin taken by a fisherman,” said Clint, quietly. “He moved inland and became a farmer so she couldn’t get away, and kept her for years. She had my brother, and then me, all without ever getting her skin back from him. And then there was a car accident, and both my parents died without her ever getting it back.”

Bucky could feel horror rolling through him because he’d come so close to that, to dying on land without his skin so that he wasn’t even whole in death.

“My brother and I were still kids, and we didn’t really know what we were. Dad never let mom tell us anything. Except, after the accident, we found her skin, and ours, carefully rolled up and tucked away.”

Clint took a deep breath. “My brother thought it was all bullshit. He thought I was nuts when I took my skin and told him I was going to the coast to try it out.” He paused, looking out at the sea again. “I was thirteen,” he added, softly. “I hitch-hiked and lied about my age, and stole cash for bus tickets when I could, and made it all the way to the sea.”

Bucky couldn’t imagine reaching the age of 13 without ever having been both parts of himself. He rolled closer to Clint. Nudging up against his leg as if he could transmit comfort. Clint gave him a fond smile.

“It was amazing,” he said. “I mean, of course it was. I swam and swam, and it was so much better than anything that had ever happened to me as a human. I stayed in my skin for ages, years. I met up with Natasha and she brought me back to her pod, started teaching me all the selkie stuff I’d missed out on, but I didn’t ever want to go human again. It seemed like only shitty things had happened while I was human. It was four years before I took my skin off again, so I get it, Bucky. I get that you just want to stay as you are, and-”

He paused, and took a deep breath. “I’m willing to wait,” he added. “As long as it takes. Four years or fourteen, whatever you need.”

Bucky let the warm glow settle into his stomach, and let out a slow breath, just enjoying the way emotion had filled him all the way up. God, he hadn’t felt this much in one go since before Pierce had taken him.

He leaned in closer against Clint’s leg, and Clint set a gentle hand on his back. They stayed like that, watching the waves coming in, until the others came back. It felt like bathing in sunlight.

It took Bucky another year to feel comfortable enough to step out of his skin, but Clint didn’t pressure him about it once. He just kept close to him regardless of whether they were on land or at sea, pressing his nose to Bucky’s when he was a seal and stroking a hand over him when he was a human.

It may not have been the traditional kind of courting, but it was more than enough to make Bucky fall head over heels for him, so that the first thing he said when he finally gathered the courage to step out of his skin, on a barren rocky island miles away from anywhere, was, “I love you.”


End file.
